But for the sake of a little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born to enjoy
Ok it's 2.38am now and i am still not in bed...I have spend almost half of the day fidgting and another half of the day trying to get my internet protocol week 1-6 powerpoint slides in my head.I can say that am only half successful.Argh it's my mid year tomorrow and i am dead ashamed of myself for not studying earlier..It's like i always always procrastinate. Although i could most probably do more revision tomorrow morning ( the exam is at 5pm) but suddenly i feel so tired.I think i have being thinking a lot about issues that it drain my energy away.I can't freakin concentrate on my studies which is very very wrong.Because my motive in here is to study and get good grades.Not to indulge in some lame friendship crap that has to do with i-think-he-likes-me-but-is-giving -up.It's a waste of my time and energy and effort.It took me almost three weeks to realise that but enough is enough.Only i can stop myself, only i can make myself happy again.No matter what others say or do, if i subconsciously choose to be miserable, i will be.Besides i have not being getting answers from them so i shall not overly think about it.Sometimes i can be terribly pessimistic that in the end i realise i am just causing pain for myself.It is really really stupid. And everyone being telling me just let them approach me,there is nothing more you can do,just do nothing about it.It took me some time but yea i do realise it is true.So yea =)Anyway was showering just now and i realise that i could have being in japan three days later if it wasn't for my darn assignment.And i felt so sad for missing that.Do you know how much i miss japan.Hey!! maybe i can go after tuesday( my mid year for operating system)...ok nvm!! my sister just sms me and say it is too late to get a tix now. =( wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i should plan in advance la!!! I am going to slap myself for some time!!!Stupid stupid stupid!Plssssssssssss god plsssssssssssss let me go...if i could i will be a good student ..i swear plssssssssssss i never want something that much.plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. okkkkk great my sister just reply and said tix need a week to process.i shall put my evil plan to rest now. i am far too depressed to continue this entry....good night my lovely readers while i go dream of tokoyo.Oyasuminasai!!!!
