Thursday, March 10, 2005
- "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; But sometimes it is letting go."-Hermann Hesse
- "plato's allegory-that the first humans had four legs,four arms and two heads and were perfectly happy cartwheeling around the earth,but the gods looked down on them and became jealous and cut each human in half.the humans now had two arms,two legs and one head each.they seemed happy enough on the surface,and they were able to walk and to play,but inside they were in turmoil,and were forever looking for their other half,so that they could feel complete again"-(adrian mole and the weapons of mass destruction)
I came across this two quotes and thought hey i can identify with this.Maybe it's because i am having the hearts for him that is why i just get all teary and feel this strong connection to every love quote.So many thing happened between me and him and it gets kinda dreadful.Maybe i think too much every day and about everything that everything seems so bleak and fruitless.Everything that had happen seems futile and in vain.No longer do i hope for anything from him.He disppoints me too much that i cannot trust him like before.Why should i desperately hold on to the things that do not belong to me.I do not want anything that does not belong to me.Sometimes walking away is harder than staying put because there is always this hope that you hold on to it.He asked me to trust him but he didn't trust me in return.Always asking me question yet rarely answer mine.Maybe he does need time to warm up like what everyone says but darling i no longer have the patience to wait for you to make up your mind.If you do treasure me you would have done so already.Why cancel meeting and apologise the very next minute?What is the point?To make yourself feel better?I don't think it will work out unless you change your attitude but when you do...i'll be gone from your life.I get scared when you sms or msn me now because i don't wish to further jeopardize our relationship.Sometimes it is better to stop at a point at it's highest peak.Anything in excess is never too good.Bit by bit my feelings for you are fading away and soon i will only like u as a friend.Maybe my friends will think that it is such a pity to give up when he is showing such strong signs that he like me.But what if those signs are not that sort then what am i suppose to do for by then i would have given my heart to you totally.I do not and cannnot find the courage to wait nor like you anymore.I am sick and tired of repeating this vicious cycle of you failing me,apologising,me forgiving you.My darling i have given you far too enough chance.And that day i asked you repeatdly to stay behind is a test that i haf for you.I told myself if you stayed on i will continue to wait for you to warm up but if you don't i will be leaving you.And at this point of time i got to be selfish and think for myself so i am leaving you.It will be easier to forget you because i have six weeks of holidays to do that.I do hope that when we see each other the next time i would be able to see you as my real friend.
Love Li Lin
(If you want me come and get me.Game or not game)
Y 7:26 PM
Saturday, March 05, 2005
WHAT'S YOUR ICE CREAM PERSONALITY?
You're Strawberries and Cream
You don't like to be the center of attention because you're a little bit shy. You hold yourself (and those around you) to higher standards, so you can come off as cranky and irritable. You look before you leap-- being a little cautious when making decisions.
CAN YOU KEEP A PROMISE?
Promises, Promises
So you try, and sometimes it works out. Sometimes it, well, doesn't. At least your heart's in the right place.
CELEBRITY CRUSH
The cute and casual crush: Mandy Moore / Ashton Kutcher
You don't need to be at every big party-- you're happy as long as you're hanging out with your best friends-- and your crush-- so you're well matched for stars like Mandy and Ashton, who love to party in private places. If they ever break up with their siginificant others, maybe you'll get your chance.
ARE YOU FUN?
Good Times
You rate high on the fun-o-meter and on people's guest lists, too. Who wouldn't want to hang out with such a cool, spontaneous person? You know how to get the party started and how to keep it rolling. So just one more question-- want to come to our bash?
CRUSHABILITY QUIZ
Totally Crushable!
Congratulations! You've got that special something that makes the other sex swoon. You're approachable, but not clingy. You stand up for yourself without being standoffish. And if you're reading this thinking, OK, why am I not dating anyone then? it's probably because your crushes think you're too good to be true! Be patient -- they'll come around eventually.
FASHION QUIZ
You're Sporty Casual -- Like Jewel / Ashton Kutcher
Jeans, t-shirt, pair o' boots -- you're good to go. You know that style comes from within and you'd rather make a statement with your mouth than with a bunch of shiny accessories!
WHAT'S UPSTAIRS?
You're left-brained!
Left-brainers tend to be logical, analytical and objective, but that doesn't mean stodgy! It just means that you've got a great eye for detail and you use facts to come up with creative solutions for things. Other cool things about left-brained folks: Your mind is built for math and music, and you'd rather remake the rules than break them.
You're Strawberries and Cream
You don't like to be the center of attention because you're a little bit shy. You hold yourself (and those around you) to higher standards, so you can come off as cranky and irritable. You look before you leap-- being a little cautious when making decisions.
CAN YOU KEEP A PROMISE?
Promises, Promises
So you try, and sometimes it works out. Sometimes it, well, doesn't. At least your heart's in the right place.
CELEBRITY CRUSH
The cute and casual crush: Mandy Moore / Ashton Kutcher
You don't need to be at every big party-- you're happy as long as you're hanging out with your best friends-- and your crush-- so you're well matched for stars like Mandy and Ashton, who love to party in private places. If they ever break up with their siginificant others, maybe you'll get your chance.
ARE YOU FUN?
Good Times
You rate high on the fun-o-meter and on people's guest lists, too. Who wouldn't want to hang out with such a cool, spontaneous person? You know how to get the party started and how to keep it rolling. So just one more question-- want to come to our bash?
CRUSHABILITY QUIZ
Totally Crushable!
Congratulations! You've got that special something that makes the other sex swoon. You're approachable, but not clingy. You stand up for yourself without being standoffish. And if you're reading this thinking, OK, why am I not dating anyone then? it's probably because your crushes think you're too good to be true! Be patient -- they'll come around eventually.
FASHION QUIZ
You're Sporty Casual -- Like Jewel / Ashton Kutcher
Jeans, t-shirt, pair o' boots -- you're good to go. You know that style comes from within and you'd rather make a statement with your mouth than with a bunch of shiny accessories!
WHAT'S UPSTAIRS?
You're left-brained!
Left-brainers tend to be logical, analytical and objective, but that doesn't mean stodgy! It just means that you've got a great eye for detail and you use facts to come up with creative solutions for things. Other cool things about left-brained folks: Your mind is built for math and music, and you'd rather remake the rules than break them.
Y 2:27 PM
WHICH SIGNALS DO YOU SEND?
You desperately want your crush to come on over, but did you know that your body language could be causing them to keep their distance? Even without realizing it, you send secret signals to people around you by how you move and carry yourself. Find out now if your body is in sync with your heart!
Mixed Signals
Hello? Do you actually have a crush or are you this nice to everybody? Subtle is the name of your game -- unfortunately your crush may think you want them as just a friend. Time to kick it up a notch. Instead of just listening and nodding, touch 'em on the arm -- briefly and gently -- when they talk. That should get the ball rolling!
Li Lin's comment: This test is incorrect,untrue and unproven!!Hurmph.
Y 2:20 PM
How to Tell if a Boy Likes You... Some Clues:
- He might start talking loudly in your presence or start treating you as one of the guys. (Yes, this is a weird way to show he likes you, but it's one of the most common and strongest signals!)
- He might also become very shy and mumble when he speaks to you. Then again, he could behave like a real Casanova, praising you for no apparent reason and straining hard to hold a sustained intelligent conversation (often ending in him asking for your phone number or for a date)
- If he is acting more flirtatious toward you than toward other people at the same event
- If his friends are paying attention to you when he isn't around (often a clue that this guy talked to his or her friends about you).
- If he always seems to be around (especially if you get the "instinct" that he's there because of you)
- If he is smiling while listening to you, and seems to be listening especially "actively"
- If he seems to look into your eyes a little longer than normally.
- If he remembers stuff you said before and brings it up again (asking questions about something you mentioned in the past ) - shows he's interested in you
Testing Your Suspicions: If you think a guy likes you (trust your gut instinct, girls) but you can't be totally sure, try this: Give him your best smile. If he smiles back, or his face suddenly lights up, tah dah! He likes you. If he starts sweating and looks all flustered, he likes you even more. If his smile is the polite kind, or if he frowns or looks away, that's a bad sign that maybe he isn't interested in you after all.
Y 2:06 PM
| Your Love Style Is... Caring! |
 You seem to have it all worked out. You are emotional strong, warm and know how to love. More importantly you think with both your head and your heart allowing you to handle all romantic situations calmly. How did you get this smart!! |
Y 2:02 PM
Sigh i really don't know how should i feel about him.I mean should i give up or should i not.Everything is shrouded in mystery for i can only guess what he means.Does he really mean it about the things he do and say or is he just filrting harmlessly.Gosh am feeling so lost..Lili says he seems to be the kind that flirts around with just about any girls(cause i show her the entire chat log) and honestly speaking i did really believe in her 100%.So i was really turned off and feeling disgusted about it.Btw i absoulately hate flirts and they are like the scum of the earth.But sherlydine and theo was like saying neh i don't think so,he don't look like one.And sheryldine(she is one that i told her all about him cause she knows him too) says he seems to be just unsure and is trying to figure out his feelings for me.And she says she see me like she and jeffery and that there are some similarities.
But seriously i don't know...there seems to be too many loopholes in his story and sometimes i do feel that he don't care at all(especially when we communicate through sms and msn).But when we talk face to face and wen it's just me and him it will be another different thing.
I don't wanna feel depress or heartbroken or bother lili they all with him because well......it isn't right plus they'll get sick of it too definately.I think it's because i yearn to be in a relationship now so i feel that i am ready but i realise sometimes things shouldn't be like this.Just like what justin said:"i feel that both have to be strong and that the relationship has to go both ways.if they start one then i feel that they should do it for the right reasons."And that maybe i like him for the wrong reason but is too oblivious to realise that.Slowly, i'll definately get an answer surely.
Y 12:12 PM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
me looking really geeky but HEY I WAS LIKE ACTING A GEEKY ROLE IN THE SCH LIBRARY SO DUN CONDEMN ME AR..
Y 7:42 PM
my cat darn action macho..
Y 7:41 PM
frm the same day
Y 7:40 PM
my cat and me
Y 7:40 PM
my tonsss of earings...
Y 7:37 PM
part two of my room
Y 7:37 PM
part 1 of my room
Y 7:36 PM
my um closet but 60% of the clothes are like left unworn
Y 7:36 PM
a new haircut...um actually i just cut it straight BUT HURMP APPARENTLY VERY FEW PPL CAN TELL THE DIFF
Y 7:34 PM
I didn't go to school today cause...1st) feeling too tired to do so 2nd)my ear hurts and having flu.Therefore i woke up at about 8 plus this morning(well i was kinda waken by lili's phone call..bahahahha) and i went online and disturb everyone.And after that i went to see a doctor about my ear problem and i was so worried that the doctor would say oh you have a serious problem blah blah have to operate blah blah..That is one of the reason why i drag it so long before seeing a doctor.But luckily the doctor said that it's just an ear infection.So after a few magical drop of the um ear drop(-_-) my ears ACTUALLY felt better and it wasn't like painful...And the stupid thing is that well um actually i have being like suspecting that my ear hurts cause of the super cheap earphones i bought($9.00) at heeren that day.I was like imagining the earphone is like faulty and then the radiomagnetic waves 'leak' out and damage my eardrum blah blah...I was even tempted to like flip through physic textbook or do research on earphone's hazards but i didn't of course.n i actually once pray that if my ear is ok i will never buy cheap earphones again.Um it's really stupid i guess.So anyway the doctor gave me painkillers,antibiotics and ear drop and guess what it cost me freakin $31.Sob....nvm i'm not paying for it.
And i was chatting with justin online and we were like talking about our science grades and it suddenly dawn on me that tomorrow's science ut is like the last one and my past two ut grades are like D+(slowly glide away to one corner).So i start to panic and beg justin bryan to like teach me cause he get A's but he had to go for a talk after school so we couldn't meet up.So meaning i am so gonna read through the 6th powerpoint slides like tonight because i will die terribly if i dun.Besides i don't think my daily grade of A's will do much help since it's like 50% daily grade and 50% ut grades...Heyyyyyyyy i can like pray for the school network to be down ONCE AGAIN...I just need it to be down from say 8.30-9.00am.time to do my ritual dance..muhahahahha.
I took this 'day off' to clear my closet and vacuume and mop the floor(proud proud look) and add a bit of decoration here and there.And i realise i have like 34 pairs of earings which to me is quite a lot.I mean i do realise i have a lot of earings but i didn't expect to be like this much.So i took this opportunity to give all the sliver earings a polish and a bath.Now they look all shiny and clean.I'll post some picture of my room and that mass lot of earings later.
Actually wanna go out with justin today but i've decided that it would be better if we both stay home to study cause he got like E for his ut(bahahahha...oops i am sorry i mean awww) and i have d+( ='( ) so if we both don't study and go out today we are so gonna die tomorrow.
Anyway i have this strong sudden impluse to wanna hug everyone(that means lili,stella,xiu xia,eric and cheryl).I wanna thanks them for being there for me whenever i need them to.Sometimes though they don't show it out i know they do...and that is really really lovely.And they really do care about me after all...=) thank you everyone...i am just simply appreciative of all the things that you all have done for me and give in to my lame moments and whinings...
I have kinda like become closer to justin and it's like there are some things that i don't tell like normal friends that i've told him.And he is always there for me and so will i.I think intitally i was a bit spook out by him but after much communication and when we've talk things out,we have become like good friends.Sigh another close friendship has develop...isn't it nice? =D.And me and him was like devising this plan to make bai guang like give up on me..So he was like action asking out loud hey where is your boyfriend and all that and i am like stammering(cause i get kinda nervous wen i tell lies) saying oh he is still doing ok.We actually wanna drag justin bryan in asking him to action call me cause he has a pocket and justin don't..just in case you don't understand what the heck pockets has to do in this plan, well...our plan is like he put his hp inside his pocket and call me and den i pick up and action say oh darling why...you've called .i miss you terribly and blah blah(all the mushy words).But justin bryan was like huh all the way and i am simply lazy to explain everything to him so we kick him out of the plan immediatelly.So after that me ,justin,justin bryan,leonard(wahhaha I FORCE HIM to go too) and bai guang went to eat after tennis.And after eating i suggest we go the shopping centre near the thai embassy to see the um guys dressing up like girls and trying to seduce potential customers.And the rest was super relutant to go and i use my communication skills to like AHEM PERSUADE them to go with me.Den while buying bubble tea right..thanks to the smarty pants justin bryan he suggest we go back to school to find ghost and you know i love to do this sorta thingy(jixuan will noe best after all we went to old changi hospital with kok wee that time..hahahah).So my eyes was like glowing with interest and super duper enthusiastic about it.But yes yes everyone scowl at my idea and they all say aiyah we are all tired today can we do it next time please please.And i kick and fuss and refuse to let them go home and sulk at one corner with my pouted mouth.Den the rest was like kept begging me to let them go home.And leonard(oh poor leonard he always kenna from me one) was like kept asking me lilin can i go home i wanna go home and i like give him the dirty look and say u wan u go la i dun care..and he just kept quiet looking tired.Justin bryan was like beside me and he said really softly dun force them if they don't wanna go la we all can go with you during the tennis drama.And they are like: not that we don't wanna go with you but we are really tired today and we all haven't do our rj and all that..tmr you got class somemore blah blah.And i sulk for like 30 minutes before standing up and say nvm we go home i dun wanna go anymore and justin was like asking me hey lilin you angry with us ar and i say don't have la...why should i rite.
So i took accompany justin bryan take bus back to school and i was like talking to him den justin called and ask if i am really ok and if i am angry and all that so i said no la i am just tired.Den me and justin bryan waited the bus(his 51 and me 970) at the bustop near the school.And he was saying sigh i dun wanna go home yet and i was like hey me too cause i have already miss my pi li huo(SOBBBBBBBBBBB) and i don't have rj to do(cause i skip class) so even if i get home it'll be bored.So i try to CON him to walk that scary path with me and he said dun wan..HURMP very smart ar him..never fall into my trick.So i was like huh den what? And he made all sorts of silly suggestion like go to his house,go to ginza plaza,go to park blah blah and i was like can but is there anything fun over there and he reply dun have and i go dot dot dot.And finally he said something: let's sit at this bus stop and chat.And after my trademark dot dot dot i am like um ok.So we like sitting in slience and he mum was like smsing him and i kypoh and say heyyyy who sms u.Den he showed me and his mum was like: hey where are you you are home late again.And i kept bahahhaha cause i always drag him to go places with me and his mum always sms him that(oops sorry ya).so i was looking at what he sms the whole time.And his mum was like smsing where are you now?your dad is waiting for you.And i go oops .But heyyyy it's his idea this time to sit at the bus stop not my fault okie...i played games in his hp and cause i was like kinda into that game and refuse to return him his hp he was like lilin~ and can you believe it, he POKE me...POKE!!!little thing only dun have to poke rite...HURMPH.And he have the triumph look and say heyyy you are scared of it.But i mean big deal right cause everyone is isn't it.
I was kinda reflecting on the things i have done to them and i ask justin and leonard on msn if i did went overboard and if i was like spoilt..And both of them gave a positive answer :leonard was like you sure know yourself well..haha. and justin was like ya u a bit spoilt la but we don't hate or dislike you la we are just tired.I shall not torture you guys anymore because you all seem kinda poor thing now that i have reflect back plus you guys are really super tolerant of my rubbish especially that time(the taxi thingy and outing )~which i shall type out the next day.I cannot and musn't be so selfish to like take you guys for granted....I will try to control myself next time ya=) hugssssssssss everyone..Wheeeee....Die i got to go study now...tata and i'll blog again tmr.muacks everyone.
Y 6:23 PM