Friday, April 21, 2006
past experience:directly pour out your feeling, crisis in the relationship, continue the relationship with a revival feeling, signs for separation, void of feeling, crisis between the lovers, may get frustrationpresent condition:respectable lover, cautious to the relationship, deep and great love, marriage through match making, good marriage, relationship though match making, a partner of a safe relationship, an older lover of the opposite sex, increasing love, long-lasting relationship
future prediction:good lovers, blessing pair, marriage, a successful, healthy and open friendship, satisfactory love, good lover will appear, can announce the relationship, gradual nurture of mutual love
from his perspective.Ok i am bored and i have no idea what to do.Should i wait cause it seem real silly to do so.
Y 5:45 PM
Being a week in school already.So far classes have being sorta good.Nice classmates cept that they like to laugh at me for not much reason.It's always me and another girl in the class and the rest are guys.I felt really weird and so dread to go school everyday.But now that after a week i am sorta used to it already.I give up protesting cause it isn't gonna change anything much.
The faci ask the class why is she so popular when i am presenting.Haha my ass lar!I've bascially become the entertainer of the class and whatever i did i am just being myself.I react according to the things they do like action lock me out of the class,tease me,laugh at me when i did nothing(gave them puzzled look everytime).
Oh i got to stop being late cause next week the facis will start downgrading people who are late aka that screams out my name in caps!!I must wake up earlier.Walked to the interchange with jj today and he said he leave home at about 7.45 and reach school by 8.20.And he stay v near school.I told him i leave the house at 8.00 and reach school at 8.50.Yeah see the drastic difference.I got to start leaving the house earlier than that man.
I got one c and one b for daily grade so far.It's time to pull up my socks.While at least maintain B's and no more C's.
The new school is quite big but a lot of area are still under pretty heavy construction.I haven't really went around exploring it cause firstly it's quite dumb to do it alone and secondly i'll get lost if i explore alone.Yea i get lost easily.I can even be confuse with the direction on my own level which strictly speaking isn't that confusing and big plus they even have signs all over.Yes it's this bad.Oh well!Maybe i ask my friends to accompany me around next week.
Y 5:23 PM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
'When one sees a mountain, one wants to climb to the top,'my father wrote.'But once you are there,it is only to discover that the mountain has disappeared,you don't see it anymore.'At first I mistook him for a coward for taking his own life,but I now sense that he survived as long as he could,struggling against a constant feeling of being unfit for this world.Having prolonged his life,he made the lives of my brother and me possible
excerpts Because I Said So Mariane Pearl
Y 12:14 PM
Friday, April 07, 2006
Great cause everyone seems to be mad at me.Am i wrong for saying what i really think.And i can't it if i am too straighforward and that i fight for what i believe in.I think that's the main reason why i always get into trouble or quarrel with people.It's really not my fault nor my wish to be like this.Please please let the world disappear from my eyes just for a day because i need to leave.I feel as though my heart is breaking in bitrillion pieces tat it hurts so bad tat it's suffocating me.I am emotionally tired for now.
meow meow:tat really sucks
notes from underground. says:i know
meow meow:haiz u understand hw i feel?
notes from underground. says:i've had worse
meow meow:huh like?
notes from underground. says:erm helLo, i liked ppl be4
meow meow:but hw bad can urs get
meow meow:cept beind rejected
meow meow:which is the same as my case nw
notes from underground. says:i think u better stop asking
notes from underground. says:before i get really angry
meow meow:huh
meow meow:wat did i do even
notes from underground. says:
from ur questions can see how little u know about what i went through, u cannot even imagine how much i suffered. it just sickens me tt u ask me about my sufferings so causally. i dont think i can talk anymore today, let me cool off now, bye.
I mean if she thinks like that then forget it.Like hello do i not have my own problems.I am no god and i can't understand if u talk in code.Forget it seriously.I am not even going to ask anymore.
Y 12:54 AM
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I found my diarys.Amazingly i actually wrote enough to cover five books.How long have i being writing in them i don't know.Reading bits and pieces of them certainly brings back memories.I don't think i could ever write like that again.The things i write,the things i paste inside to preserve my past,the pictures that i draw and the name i gave to my diary.I realise i've grown up really.And as you grow up you'll lose a bit of this and that in the process but gaining feelings or pespective in a sort of different light.But i could really release myself and my emotions without any ounce of secrecy or shame.Maybe i should continue to write in there.Maybe i really should.........I write about how much i dislike my friends,the guys,my family members,my dreams,my fantasy,my daily boring life,my feelings about issues and pure randomness.
I am glad i did so because someday when i get really old i'll still be able to remember my past in the most beautiful and precise way.
Y 2:22 AM
Monday, April 03, 2006
I was watching art's central and saw this programme about body modification.They talk about tattos,piercing,branding(like using hot iron to create a bump/scar on ur skin) and corset.Course i am not really interested in those stuff cept corset.
The women that wore corset in the show had like um 20 inches wasit.I mean seriously that is amazing.That you just wear some metal thingy around your waist and it could go from 25-20 within minutes.And this women who makes corset say people order from her to diet as wearing one would definately limit the amount of food you can take in and wearing it for long would permantely shape your waist for life.Each corset are custom made to the measurement that you sent in so they won't crush your ribs or kill you.It's really cool though i won't wear it in real life(maybe just to fantasize).And it really makes your have that hour glass figure and amazing that how small one's waist could go.http://www.sptddog.com/sotp/corset79.jpg.What you see in this picture is reality cause the women in the show really had such proportion.Imagine yourself to be like that.Pretty cool huh.http://www.knowlesville.com/matt/vintage_fashion/images/1900-corset-5.jpg(measuring at 20.5 inches).
Though i have said this a couple of times but I STILL NEED MY VACATION.A school holiday isn't quite complete without a nice OVERSEAS holiday.Seriously it isn't.Sigh how unfair for me to be stuck here and it's getting hotter and hotter.Tennis 9-12pm isn't helping much.I think i am gonna die of skin cancer sooner or later despite slapping spf 50 all over my body.But no it doesn't help, i am still getting tan like um chocolate colour(sheryldine even ask me yesterday li lin did you suntan?)my thighs are like split to half( pale n tan),oily skin with breakouts cause of the sunblock.And have my tennis improve to justify all that?Not at all.Maybe i did improve a bit but definately not as much to make up for all these.Oh yea forget to mention dry skin and chapped lips.Yea so i look like a mess now.Tennis at farrer park today was cooling cause maybe there are plently of trees around.But heard that next week it's back to tanglin again.Argh welcome to fried skin,pimple face,scaly skin,peeled bleeding lips and skin cancer.
I can't wait for my hair to grow longer cause i still want to perm it.I mean curl.Whenever i use the word perm i get such strong violent objections.
I am having a real lousy mood this morning and i guess i sorta took it out on everyone at tennis.But surprisingly i play better tennis.I always focus so much better if i don't smile.But then when i am focusing i'll frown or not smile(which ppl feedback i look fierce) but it's not i am angry or what but just that my facial muscles are like that.
Anyway i really dislike when people fall asleep on me while chatting.Once ,twice and even thrice is understandable and acceptable for me.But not more than that especially after expressing my anger and helplessness.If he wants to do that seriously there isn't much i can do cept to get angry and swallow it.God i really hate this.The feeling of being helpless and angry.I try to keep my emotion insides myself so i won't bother anyone.But of course there are times when i really can't or i'll burst and die.Maybe people in general can't really get it why i get so mad over trival stuff.But remember this what seems trival to you might be major to some.
Y 11:15 PM
DJ play that music louder please
Although we two are together I miss you
even though you are near Boy I miss you
Just a little bit Baby (the cold crush lover is here)
Maybe Maybe (the meteor's flowin this year)
Before you change your mind Rock with you today as well, like this, With you
Everywhere, just a little, and then until the morning uh uh uh in this atomosphere
Don't know why this love gotta be difficult
Even though I'm the universe's Verbal Super lover
Don't know why this Beat of Takahashitaku
Gotta be so fly with both ryouhei and Melody... now listen
I don't know why your standards are very high, whatever it is, so uptight
Although I get presents of this and that Baby don't you know that's not all
I don't know why your attitude with no cracks, no hesitation, is that pride?
She gets any things that can be bought with cash or card but she always says no
I gave her this, I gave her that, the adorments are like a dream but diamond rings are not forever
Name anything, a space ship that blings just anything
Even the moonlight So baby come close to me
(Ooh,) baby can't you see, I want you to understand, This is my feeling
Ooh tell me, tell me cuz I buys whatever you want, no limit
Ooh you say that you miss me but there are no calls
So want do you want me to do Girl?
Ooh tell me so I can do it right
So tonight, U and I can just uh uh
Although we two are together I miss you
even though you are near Boy I miss you
Just a little bit Baby (the cold crush lover is here)
Maybe Maybe (the meteor's flowin this year)
Before you change your mind Rock with you today as well, like this, With you
Everywhere, just a little, and then until the morning uh uh uh in this atomosphere
Love to show you in one... tokyo minute, I gotta lot of it ma dynamite explosive love
You are hot! hot! What should I do? Cafe mocha hot! hot!
Everyone turns to look Jealousy hothot she's killin' me
Lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala
More and more like Stevie, signed, sealed, delivered
What you like, do it baby, put on your lipstick, can we two seriously Rock rock?If you don't mind
Ooh I'll tell you what this is all about your money
Well since it's something that can't be bought
But (oh!) i wanna see it, your smile, and here (hear?) your melody
(lalalalalala)
How can I can I get it across? Just spend some time with me
There is no time, so please, if you are really serious gotta be gotta be?
Loving and huggin and uh uh
DJ play that music louder, please
Ooh how you me like me now, ooh one thousand and thirteen years [?] Style m-flo's lovin' us now
La la if you can hear, come and get me
No, cuz this ain't no joke, you deserve it all,And I'm treating you right girl!
(The way I'm livin' is five stars, extremely large)
Extreme future you move like this girl, your name? Doesn't stop... Pull over!
Uh
I'm trapped in those eyes, don't know when it happened
Because I'm bound to wreck your body and say turn the party outI'm bound to wreck your body and say turn the party outI'm bound to wreck your body and say turn the party out
Tell me why we are passing each other by?
(Why don't we kiss no more)
Now, I don't know when, the two of us (So far apart, tell me)
What should I do, Baby girl? (Uh, How u feelin me now?)
We should be vibin' forever
Y 12:26 AM
Saturday, April 01, 2006
There are so many things going through my head that i don't know where should i start.Maybe i am just tired.Just need to sleep to clear all the troubles out of my headAiyah i am lazy to type...I go online shopping first.Own u one entry k.Tata
Y 11:22 PM