Friday, November 26, 2004
awww isn't it sweet.it's moments like this that i just wanna be with it forever and ever.He is pretty much the only guy in my life now...sob sob..haha
Y 8:04 PM
my darling cat
Y 8:00 PM
.
Y 7:45 PM
Giving some1 all ur luv is never an assurance that they'll luv u back! Dun expect luv in return; juz wait 4 it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, b content it grew in urs
Once in your life you find someoneWho will turn your world aroundI've been waiting for so longFor something to arriveFor love to come along
woah pretty good advices here!
Y 7:23 PM
Good news for those who need tips....here it goes.You can pay me later for my advice.(erm actually it's copy and paste only.haha)
How to Tell if Someone Likes You by Alanna Brooks
There is no sure fire, 100% guaranteed way to know if someone likes you as more than a friend...and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. There are, however, certain things you can look for that will give you a pretty good idea if your friend or aquaintence is interested in being more than friends.
Test his/her Personal Space Everyone has something called "personal space". It is like a bubble around us that we don't like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that bubble dissapears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won't jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won't step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don't ask them to move over. We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so. So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their "personal space" and monitor their reaction. If they move away, heed it as a warning and don't try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.
Observe Their Body Language Is your friend exhibiting flirtaseous behaviour with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance? Do their pupils dialate when they see you? It has been found scientifically that our pupils dialate when we are looking at someone we are attracted to. Although this is a good method, it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be miscontrued as flirting. Touch his/her Hand Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand as possible. If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty? You could also try placing your hand very near your friend's hand and watch to see if they move theirs away. If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their VCR or CD player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons. It would be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.
Watch for Changing or Strange Behaviour Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in? Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne...things you've only see him do when going on a date with other women? Listen to what they Say It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don't like us and really play up any signs that they do. If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren't interested in taking the friendship further. "It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend." "I really like this guy/girl from school, we went to a movie last night and I think he/she likes me too...." "There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?" "I'm so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary." "I have a friend who I'de like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!" "Have you ever had a friend tell you that they like you?...I did once, it was awful, the friendship was never the same after that..."
I take cash only no credit card or cheque pls.=D
Y 7:13 PM
Oh my god....I mean i know that maybe these kind of thing happens but I didn't like know it would be this real man...I got this at a forum and it goes like blah blah blah and do you think student and teacher relationship could work out.And here is the reply...
Not i wanna be a wet blanker here. Student n lecturer r/s dont usually work out. If u are a 3rd yr student or final yr student, maybe it would be better lors. If u two really got feelings for each ohter, maybe can work out after u grad?My gal pal kinda fell for our lecturer lors. He oso very young and handsome. He only 22 this yr wors. He ABC lors. He look like some jap soccer star. He has everything. talents, cash, looks and hte charisma. My fren like u lor. Go gaga over him. Plus they kinda have fate lors. Everytime bump into each other. Durign those time, my fren got a lot of problems with her ex mah. Then our sir happen to saw her crying. he lent a ear to listen to her problems lors. He quite nice lors. He spent 2 hrs talking ot her trying to make her feel better. Then my fren everything got sch work problems sure find him de. She oso say wont fall for him de as she got bf le. Well, from a small crush it slowly blossom lors. none of us beleive that she wont fall for our sir lors. Her bf deosnt love her a lot and always uses her money.We all felt tat our sir seem to like her a lot wors. From wat we know, they went to tea breaks together sometimes. No dates thoguh. After tat she decided to break up with her ex outta sudden lors. She said tat its time for her to let go. Our sir very nice lors. Know she no confidence in this subject. He did his ebst ot help her. Encourage her. When she sad, he gave her shoulder to cry on. We all just have a feeling tat hteres more than meets the eye. Thsi continued for 5 months.After tat, they met up after exams. He told her tat though they are a student n teacher, he still feel very comfortable with her. he felt tat they should just maintain a student teacher frenship. He just felt it is not right to date his own students. After this hint, she so upset. HAIZ. After tat, they never contact each other le.
I still don't know if i agree or disagree.....well actually if i am allow to say this truefully...I feel it is perfectly ok for teacher and student to fall in love or develop a relationship with each other provided that they don't bring upon 'trouble' to each other,provided that don't like do all the mushy thing in school for the whole wide school to know.I mean what they do outside would pretty much be their own business.And provided that it is beyond secondary school as in JC,polys private Uni,uni or watever(you get the picture).I just really feel like love or relationship has no boundaries.I mean heck man it's already so damn hard to find someone that you like and if one were to bound to trival things as such like age oh lord knows when we'll all get attatched.In fact this brings me to another point.I think gays and lesbians relationship are prefectly ok and i respect and see them in the same manner as like any other relationship.I think my friends will get sucha shock if they see this as i am known as the super conservative type.Yeah i am conservative in a way or so(e.g. i refuse to have a lot of physcial touch with guys i don't really know etc and blah blah).And that reminds me of something.....during the first semster of year 1 my classmate actually thinks that i am interested in daniel teo(my culture and communication facilitator)and they were like kinda gossipping about it.I was sooooooo devastated at that time that i actually wanna change class cause i really don't know how to deal with all these stress.I mean they never like say or hint anything MEAN AT ALL.But i just wasn't comfortable with the idea.Well anyway i just ask all of them out to lunch and i clear the doubts and everything was kinda well....And when i said that dian haiyati was like saying but it is okie to like a facilitator and i'm like haha ok.ANYWAY HE IS DAMN MEAN TO ME(I MEAN DANIEL) NOT DIAN!!!.And today i went to the c& c office to get my props for drama performance in the libraray and i saw him.So his mouth was like oily or wet(oh whatever) and i said to him eeks your mouth is oily yucks.And serene and evelyn was there and evelyn said i was like mei da mei xiao(in a like half joking manner) and he just like smile.Then before he left the office he turn back and say oh yah it's nice to meet/see you too.And i was like saying out loud: but i never say it's nice to see u.I truly feel puzzled man.And serene was like laughing and saying haiyoh.And i told eric about this and he was like saying ok this is so weird...And i ask why he say oh nothing...damn suspicious man him oh well maybe i am overly sensitive.haha.Um anyway i continue at the next one.
Y 6:38 PM
Friday, November 12, 2004
Dearest,
I've decided that my coach isn't that bad after all.In fact he can be lotsa fun and humourous during the training.And the thing is he is dead patience with me.As ya know i do know even know the basic and he was so professional and nice to teach me.And i tell ya he is super good man.He can spot my mistake exactely from like the other side of the court.And within that 2 1/2 hr of training,i actually know and can remember all the things that he teach and i can feel myself like improving(which is really cool).Actually all he want us is to be committed that all andI'm getting more and more excited about the trainings(cause he made it so fun).And i really do hope that i make it to the school team....so before i can achieve that,i gotta train hard for that opportunity.Well i am not sure if i am talented enough but if i set a goal for myself,i can stay more focus and committed.=)
Oh yeah one more thing,i just log in to LEO and i discover that Aldrin Ho is gonna facilitates our progamming classes and thanks to Eric, i learn that he is an egoistic,stern,mean and unfair facilitator.Sounds like all the combination for a bad facilitator is in.Bravo man!My progamming grades is gonna go down once again(i can predict that.shucks!)I better not slack in class anymore man.Semster two is getting more and more tedious.Time to buck up.heave ho heave ho!!!
Among my three cca(go,drama and tennis) my main focus is on tennis then drama and lastly go.I don't know why man but i just isn't in the mood to really practice go recently.Maybe it has to do with the people over there.I used to be so close to them and it actually kinda make the training fun but since now i am not like close or even talking term(towards alex),i just find it sucha drag to be there.And one thing that is i think this time it's for real.I no longer misses them like those previous times and like today i don't even have the desire to make that extra effort to talk to them.Don't get me wrong,if they speak to me i will reply back but this friendship has already broken and ya know what they say sometimes a too broken friendship cannot be mend.Guess this applys to this.In fact i feel like some sort of freedom after breaking away from them.I feel that i can be myself and i don't have to care about what i say in front of them.Isn't it so weird?I used to truly think that we all can be friends forever and that i will always miss them no matter wat but it turns out not.I really appreciate all that they've done for me and i will always be grateful towards them for them but all that is in the past.I am so glad i can pass this so needless to say i am kinda in a good mood now=)
Oh yeah my friends all used to ask me what is my criteria for a mate and i always answer don't know(hey i really don't know okie!) but i know what i don't like/dislike/hate about guys.Here it goes(beware: it's a pretty long list)
1)guys with ugly fingers
2)guys with long fingernails
3)arrogant guys
4)egoistic guys
5)guys that don't have a healthy and good sense of humour
6)guys with no vision
7)guys with bad breath(ugh pls get away from me )
8)guys who are like really really OVERLY STICKY
9) guys who are like only into the physical thingy and no patience for the emotional thingy(cause i am totally vice versa and will not tolerate the former)
9)to be continue.......
Hey wait i DO know what kind of guys will impress me and get my good feeling.
1)guys who love animals
2)guys who are kind
3)intelligent but NOT ARROGANT guys(that is really hard cause it usually comes together)
4)insensitive guys(As in really cluless and hurting guys...GET LOST!)
5)desperate guys(ugh believe me they can be so thick skin and so diguesting)
6)humourous guy
7)let me be myself without critizing me too much
8)guys who are chaivary and gentleman(Oooo)
9)able to carry out a conversation
10)guys who are not so conscious of their own looks
11)guys that do special thing once in a while that will really warmth my heart
12)it will be a bonus if he can sing well and play something
13)a guy who is willing to like go nature walking with me(cause that is one of my many fav activities)
14)to be continue........
Y 9:08 PM
FIRST NUMBER: Number 3 It is the number of Jupiter and represents optimism, expansion and movement. The No. 3 person is idealistic, religious, loves travelling and will definitely seek a higher education.Fiercely independent, they need freedom and seek truth in all aspects of life. Ambitious and aggressive, they acquire positions of power and make excellent commanders. Their vibrant vitality coupled with physical stamina ensures that he No. 3 rises to great heights.You must teach a number 3 to curb their temper, intolerance and excessive ambition. They have to learn to be more considerate and diplomatic. Channel there excessive energy into sports, a field in which they are sure to excel.Raised well, they can become outstanding personalities. They are basically very happy go lucky and philosophical and hate any sort of duplicity. Like number 1, they like fighting for the underdog and make good attorneys.
Compatible numbers - 3, 5, 6
Lucky gems - Sapphire
Lucky Colour - blue, pink
SECOND NUMBER: Number 4 It is the number of Uranus and represents inventiveness, originality, tolerance and genius. The number 4 person is highly unconventional and is often misunderstood by friends and family. Highly intelligent, systematic and methodical, they have brilliant academic records. Highly observant, keen and quick to learn, they are efficient workers and always do well in life.Highly individualistic, this number is an enigma. Number 4 people always seems to find a different way to live, and are successful more often than not. They march to their own drumbeat and love to shock others. They rarely care about public opinion & like to live and let live. (They certainly live the way they like.But, unfortunately they can be very pessimistic and need constant reassurance from people around them. Friendship is vital to their well-being, and they are extremely loyal and steadfast. They must learn to overcome feelings of inadequacy and have faith in themselves as they have the tendency to let good opportunities slip by die to their lack of confidence.)
Compatible numbers - 1, 4, 8
Lucky gems - Aquamarine
Lucky colors - light blue, white
I think the part that i bracket up is dead accurate man.
http://www.indiaparenting.com/funtime/numerology/index.shtml
Y 9:03 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
I had such a blast today.I went out with shufen and jixuan today and it has being sucha long time since we all meet up.Shufen is such a darling to fetch me form the school but she was like 20 minutes late and i ended up bitten by mosquito(darn i hate them).Shufen was so angry over the phone(not with me mind u but with her dad cause he installed some extra alarm and she didn't have any idea how to turn them off).so she was like screaming and screaming and complaining about her dad...Her volume was so high that i had to hold to phone a distance away from my ear to protect my precious eardrum.haha=PAnd she continue screaming when i got on her car.I absoulately adores and worship her car(she has like dvd and vcd feature,cool radio,family car type.air-con in top condition,super spacious).My god every time i sit on her car,i don't feel like getting down.I bet i can sit in her car and travel one month continuously and not feeling sick of the ride.So after that,we went to meet up jixuan..Oh yah before i forget,the school have this depavali celebration and they sell indians snacks and do henna drawing.I wasn't really keen in doing it at first but after seeing sakinah do,i had this sudden impluse to have one too.And anyway,it's kinda like once in a blue moon thing.So i paid $2 and choose a relatively simple and small design.But I love it man and actually i'm kinda like typing and looking at the design on my left hand at the same time.keke=)I heard it'll last for like two weeks or so(it better be man).Xiu xia,cheryl,yishan and xue qian did one too.Sky's design was really big(on his arm) and me and yishan kept joking about it saying it will take weeks for it to dry(wahahahahah).So we all went back to the class a satisfied customer=)Oh yeah out of nowhere,Mr Chang York Boon and his sidekick(no lah i think another faciliatator that i don't know) suddenly appear.So this is what we said: lilin:hi mr chang why do u get one too? chang:haha i already gt two one butterfly at my left shoulder(pointing there) and a dragon on the other side lilin:wahahahaha u shld have it at a more visable place.do one on ur hand lah chang: haha i already have two enough already I really like Chang cause he is so knowledgable and he really knows his stuff yet he isn't arrogant and plus i discover he really have a sense of humour.Oh yah just to clarify my defination of like for faciliatator are on a professional level ar.Sigh I miss him being our facilitator...he is the best,he totally rocks,he is....okie okie i'll stop piling mass compliments over him. Oh yeah I saw Daniel Teo just now and i swear he sometimes makes me so angry man.He is like so arrogant and so ego.Cause i email him about a week ago asking if i can have back my photos and if not when can i have it.And he never email back and i thought that was kinda weird cause everytime when i email,he will email back almost immediately or at least within two days.So i run after him when i saw him pop his head(what for?I don't know too?)in my class and i was like screaming daniel teo stop.And he stop and smile asking what's up.So i said lilin: u never reply my email..u idiot daniel:(sickening sweet smile)i never receive any email from you lilin:(real confuse liao) huh never?really meh i gt send wat daniel: i dun wanna reply ur email leh(sickening sweet smile) lilin:huh why not? daniel:cause u were rude in your email lilin:huh where gt...i just never put smilely face like before what. don't tell me i have to say pls and thank you daniel: yah those are the magic words lilin:(a bit crossed)then do i have to bow to you too daniel:(smug look) i dun mind..haha lilin:..... Stupid right.Just because i never like say thank you and all that my email got ignored(somemore it's important thing)and besides i got say hihi....sickening ah him.Oh yeah but i got my revenge cause when he said all that i was so mad that i said stupid lah u and pound him on his arm.Okie i know it's rude to do that but he was like so unreasonable man that i can't control it. Okie back to shufen and jixuan.Seeing them once again made me so happy and so many mixed feeling arise from the stuff they told me.I just feel both of them have moved on in life and matures while i seem like the only one that is still unchanged and childish after years...Sign darn gotta go to bed ..tmr tennis training at 8.30.I have to face my new coach(dunno wat is his name) and borrow a racket from him.sigh what if he says something like: what you don’t even own a racket,then what for you join tennis.there is no way I am going to lend u one….(with his stern stern look)YUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS….sigh oh dear oh dear….i dread tmr…
Y 5:18 PM
Sunday, November 07, 2004
I really appreciate sakinah for being there for me always.She is a selfless person who always truly does show interest in all my problems.She is really patient with all my nonsense troubles and she never get sick of hearing me repeating and repeating them and this is really the best gift she can give to me.I just wanna say really thank you sakinah and i love you lots.If anytime you need me for anything,i will always be there for you,even if it means that u'll be calling me in the middle of the nigh.I will pick up that phone call without anyway complains deep down my heart.
Y 6:33 PM
I must be the loneliest person in this whole wide world because that is what I am feeling right now.It may seem like i am always surrounded with people and friends that adore me.But are they relly true?Or are their mere illusion...An illusion that surrounds me and surrounds everyone.Like a mist,it cloudes my judgement and that is not good.One of the scariest thing in this world is to think that you might posses something but in the end you find that nothing is real and all of that are just plain illusions.I have always being surrounded by this though all my life.I am scared of losing the people I have and know right now and I am just someone that is scared of loneliness.today at school,it just suddenly dawn on me that lili,stella,cheryl and xiu xia have being and will always be in a group without me.They are just like a basket of fruits(apple,orange,pear and watermelon) and i am just like the riceball....A riceball can never become a fruit and can never be accepted as one too.I just feel far too tired to try and i wanna give up.Despite all that i have done for them,i don't think they appreciate much.Especially them with the same cca, they are closer than ever and i am further and further away from them.Dearest diary,i really did try you know.I am just a person just a girl standing in front of them ,begging them to accept me and love me for who i am.But this is one of the hardest thing to do.I don't wanna use emotional blackmail.what is mine will be mine no matter wat.Mala had this nick today which says-If you want sumtin very very badly,let it go free.If it comes back to u,it's urs 4eva.If it doesn't,it was never urs to begin.Although this sounds so cruel but i like it a lot because it is a very honest nick and i do agree with it.I think i suffocate myself too much and i tried too desperately to hold on to them....Let them go and if they value me, they will turn back and realise that they have left me behind.If they come back to find me, i will welcome them with open arms and will run towards them....But do it quickly xiu xia,lili,stella and cheryl because i am scared someday i might just give up far too much to salvage anything.I once ask lili what kind of friend does she treat me as and she reply my best friend and i ask what about stella,cheryl and xiu xia.she said xiu xia is also my best friend.So i asked her are you sure u treat me as ur best friend and she reply yes.But if yes why don't and why can't i feel it deep inside my heart.I want to believe what she say and if i make myself believe it i will be extremely happy but yet i can't........oh don't ask me why i can't.All i know is that my heart just feel kinda painful,it's a bit like someone poking your heart with a fine needle.although the wound is small but you can feel it at the same time and it is capable of becoming bigger and bigger.Oh god i am someone who hates being depressed and sad but i just got to write this down because this is my own way of recovering.jixuan said i ask for too much and expect far too much from others therefore i am and will always be disappointed.Maybe this is true but i can't help it....it is only natural to expect a return from a friendship or a relationship....this i call it's interaction.Alex told me this: sometimes when i have things that i cannot put down,i think about other stuff.He might be able to do this but i can't.I am far to emotional and weak to do that and this is one of the many things i hate myself for.Of course it is nice to sympathise people but in the end only i suffer the most.I really do wonder at time, why does the majority of the guys treat me better than the girls.Am I so unlikable to the girls?I would truly trade for the guys to girls.....And this makes me even more lonely.........
Y 6:29 PM
Ha!I am feeling so much better today.I woke up at about 10.00am today and i cook myself some tom yam noodles because i was too lazy to go out and get my food.Then i watch this anime called fruit basket.And intitally i didn't quite like it but after a while,it actually grows on me.Oh bother,I still gotta work later on.I am sooooooo lazy to even move my body let alone to serve customers.I feel like quitting because i have so many school stuff to care about but i'm scared that what if one day i just feel so bored and got nothing to do on saturdays and sundays and have nobody to go out with me?
It is better to be busy to death than bored to death.Because when i am bored,i tend to let my imagination run wild and think of things that aren't not even there.This is a bad thing you know.To overthink something is indeed a bad thing.I have being there done that and it is not something that i would like it to happen again.
Y 5:51 AM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Every man's dream comes true for William Thacker, a successless Notting Hill bookstore owner, when Anna Scott, the world's most beautiful woman and best-liked actress, enters his shop. A little later, he still can't believe it himself, William runs into her again - this time spilling orange juice over her. Anna accepts his offer to change in his nearby apartment, and thanks him with a kiss, which seems to surprise her even more than him. Eventually, Anna and William get to know each other better over the months, but being together with the world's most wanted woman is not easy - neither around your closest friends, nor in front of the all-devouring press.
1)Anna: The fame thing isn't really real you know. Don't forget, I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
2)William: Yes, Miss Scott, are there any circumstances in which, ah the two of you might be more than just good friends?
Anna: I hoped there would be but no I'm assured there aren't
William: But what you you say...
PR Chief: I'm sorry, just the one question, please.
Anna: It's alright. You were saying?
William: I was just wonder if ah, it turned out that this person,"?
Journalist: Ah Thacker, his name's Thacker.
William: Thanks, thanks, just wondered if Mr Thacker realized he'd been a daft prick and got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider, whether you would in fact then reconsider.
Anna ... "Yes, I believe I would."
William ... "That's very good news. The readers of horse and hound will be absolutely delighted."
Texas-In our lifetime
Ronan Keating-When you say nothing at all
Y 2:01 PM