Sunday, June 04, 2006
I've been in and out of favour with lady luck I gotta tell you I've seen things i never wanted to see I've got to get back on my feet I feel like i've been sleeping Sweet, sweet time Has been a real good friend of mine Waiting for that change of season Oh the winter's been so long Searching for that rhyme or reason You've just got to Move on Hold it together, move on Life's so short, move on Only time will set you free You put your fears behind you Better get yourself where you wanna be I think of all the days and nights i spent crying And i move on"If i know that the other day when we had project 2gether is our last chat 2gether, i would have cherished it with all my heart. I can't help it with tears flowing down my face."
I felt a sense of sadness overwhelming me when i read this.It that sense of helplessness,
and forlornness.Really it isn't that bad for me because honestly i never felt that special connection with her.But Lili did,she give her all to you.So when she is let down,she really feel to the bottom of the pit crashing every ounce of belief that she had in you.
Maybe it's inevitable.People let us down and we let people down in our lifetime.I dare to say that even if i wasn't involve in this whole thing like cheryl, i would still have being mad and still would have ignored you.Why?Because we are all in this friendship that we share the same bond.Maybe it's less between each other but nonetheless it is still there.And because of this everyone feels the same about this issue.I am mad that you let lili down like this and i am mad that you gave up on the friendship when you could do something about it.We certainly weren't out to get you but we really wanted to reconcile.
Maybe someday the rest will forgive you for this but i won't and i can't.Not after i've seen the darkest side of you.I think you're scary.really i do.You've like suddenly transform into a monster.While i certainly think it isn't fair to push the blame to the bf for this because you certainly couldn't display such evilness if it wasn't inbuilt.They were just hidden all inside you and waiting to explode.I shudder at the thought of this.Please don't hurt lili anymore.
Thank you Cheryl for always stand by me all along(even when before this whole thingy begin).I bet you've grown tired of listening to my craps about my fancy item.But nonetheless i will still update you about him as usual cause it is a good laugh.Thanks for being there and supporting silently.You are even more handy than a boyfriend.Although sometimes a bit redudant but at least you always say the right things at the right time.So i got to give you an A+ for that effort.
Eric though we drifted apart but i guess this issue made us closer again.And we are starting to learn and accept each other from the start again.The process might be tedious but nontheless i do hope it's going to be steady.Time will tell and i do hope we can surpass that and bring ourself to a higher level.
This issue no doubt made me see you guys in a different light(positive light) and it revive a dead friendship that i long wish to let go.Maybe it isn't that bad to wait a while before letting go.
Y 12:38 AM
