But for the sake of a little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born to enjoy
Loads of crap happened the past few days so was feeling too tired to blog.But oh well now that everything is over we all got to move on. Let's see what shall i blog about today.Ok, i shall allow myself to comment about her and her boyfriend for the last time(i hope).Firstly i don't hate either of them.Maybe intitally i was but it dissolve away very soon.I guess it's more of dislike than hate.Actually bascially after yesterday's conversation we had with her i more or less get the whole idea already.So it really doesn't matter much what she does anymore because she will still be a hi bye friend for me.And as for the bf i heard that he is feeling guilty and wanna apologise to me(not sure if it is true or not) but then again forget about it.I just wanna let things die down cause it is actually very tiring to be immerse into all these events that just sucks your energy away.So i'll just leave things as it is. I guess this whole issue made us closer and tighter.You see it's sorta weird cause you always need some crap to happen for things to become better.So when crap happens either we all fall apart or stay even tighter together.I am glad it's the latter cause i really can't afford to lose any more dear friends.But then again i would never keep any friendship or relationship just for the fear of loneliness.If it is a bad one no matter what i'll walk out of it.Maybe that is why yf says i am the kind that won't go back to my bf or husband if we got seperated .I guess that's true because it is really quite pointless to be going around in circles.Maybe we all have the ability to walk out of something that is bad or abusive but time and time again we always choose to go back in hopes that the next time it'll always be ok or better.But sometimes that is really wishful thinking, you can't make people change and neither can you adapt to that so what to do but to walk away to make both people happy.Nobody is wrong in such situation but it is a sad yet valid enough scenerio.We all cry ,got hurt and learn from it. So that brings me to this point.There is a guy i sorta fancy but the more i think about it the less reason i could convience myself to stay on.You see he is like sooooo dull that i feel like screaming u noe what i like you do u? But then again that is so uncalled for and uncool.It'll most probably make the whole situation awkard.I seriously don't know if he fancy me too cause he has a deadly combination of dullness+confusion+weirdness.That is really bizzare.Initially i'll spend all my nights(well sorta) re-reading our conversation wondering did i do something wrong or right.But slowly i realise it might just be randomness so i stop bothering to make sense of things.Maybe there is always that 70% that he likes me like my friends had told me.But what about the 30%?I am uncertain how we should go from there even if it gets to 100% because we just can't communicate well in real life.Or rather he is too shy to talk to me in real life.I can't forever be communciating with him on msn.It would be too bizzare.So in general i think he is out in my list from this point onwards.So guys if you like a girl don't play too much game and don't be dull cause it'll kills any opportunity. Maybe i am more used to people liking me than i liking someone.But definately i am not angry if i get rejected or whatever because i've being rejecting people all along.I mean they don't like me cause of the same reason i don't like other guys.I can't really blame them for following their heart.But it's alright cause we can't expect everyone to like us.Talking about rejection, i hate to reject people more and more these days.Cause you always have to worry how to do it in a less hurting way yet be firm enough at the same time. Ok I am lazy to continue so maybe next time when i feel like it i'll talk about this isuue.
