Monday, January 16, 2006
I think bascially nothing excites me anymore.I used to be someone who'll get hyper even at the slightest thing..but not anymore these days.
Being spending a lot of time away from my friends and i love it.It's just me and myself which is tension revealing.I think these time spent apart from them made me reevaulate stuff.Maybe i am asking for too much or whatever but i feel my friendship with them had fall apart way back then.But i refuse to see it because i am lonely and pretty much i dun really like to change my friends very frequently.Maybe i insist on wanting it to work that i pay too much of a price already.Be it with shufen,jixuan,xiu xia,li li,stella, eric and cheryl.It's the same.Being working my ass off trying so hard to mantain something with them but it's not even close.We have all lost that closeness...that feeling of wanting to do something better for each other.And it's no use asking you to change because that isn't your character...and even if u can now,u'll fall back to it again.And we will all be back to square one isn't it.
The bottom line is that people changes even within a day or a week and there is pretty much nothing we can do to stop it.So either you can compromise and stay or you can walk away.But since it's my limit already,i'll choose to walk away for good this time round.
A bad friendship is the same as a bad relationship.You always linger long enough to hurt yourself repeately until bang ! one day you can't stand it anymore and walk away.
I feel like an outcast at tennis today.It's tiring to continue anymore.The girls in my group are actually like the bestest friend already so needless to say they have their own clique and are not so acceptance in welcoming new people in their group.Actually i can respect them if they don't want to pull me along because they are totally not compel to like me or whateverso.But i just feel that if you want to talk about me then don't cause firstly you don't even make enough effort to know who am i, what gives you the right to judge me.It's irritating sometimes how small and narrow a human mind can get.I rest my case.I think i stop trying to get along with them today and most probably be like that for the rest of the lesson.Don't get me the wrong way, i don't hate them.
i should really stop being upset already.
Y 9:35 PM
