But for the sake of a little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born to enjoy
Being sucha long time since i blog...But i was like totally busy...=D. Mmmm have being really involved in drama these days...Almost everyday it's like drama drama and drama.I have to admit that i loathe my role initially because it seems to boring and uncool.But soon i realise that ensemble has the most difficult job out of everyone because of all the moves and all the different position we have to be at.And plus we have this really um construction like costume(it's like a blue jumpsuit which i hate it at first because it is so not my style. But after a while i get use to embrassing myself.....i dun like it when they laugh while i say my japanese tourist role.I mean they don't laugh for a mean reason or wateverso.But it's only because they said i did a splendid imitation of the accent....But still i am always so self conscious and paranoid....And because of this performance i get to know everyone a bit more better plus i make new friends(like those people who newly joined drama).I am kinda close to janice nowadays especially when i get to see her like almost everyday.And know wat! I was drinking my hot milk tea during the break and she all of a sudden hit my hand and as a result i spilled hot milk all over myself(my nose,mouth,hand,chest and thigh).But she was actually like trying to kill a mosquito that is feeding on my hand but i guess she didn't quite realise that i was holding my hot tea. So due to the pain all over my body and the shock, i tear....She kept asking me if i was okie and it is painful.I mean what can i say right i can't be spoilt and say painnnnnnnn....besides she seem so like worried and apologetic already that i just kept assuring that it's nothing.But it's all over...i am well and healthy now...with no burns or scar or watever...YAY! Anyway i just finish reading her blog(that she just gave it to me) and i just feel angry and sad for her.Her boyfriend is such a freakin JERK(like even worst than him) and she seems to have such a bad time all along.Plus i didn't know she drink and all that...but oh well it wouldn't change a thing cause LIM XIU XIA(=D) goes clubbing and all that and yet she is like one my closeeeeeeeee friend.But so far janice seem like a nice girl and all and i find i can click with her and she relate stuff to me..She told me about her jerk ex and i told her about my jerk.....But reading her blog makes me feel so fortunate...because i am in a lot of ways actually blissful......everyone is nice to me(well almost) i have adoring fans(but sometimes that get a bit pesky not to forget some of them turn way too stalkish) friends that are really faithful and nice towards me..that i can trust and turn to,good siblings(well um kinda i guess) etc.So i should stop complaining about my life and learn to apreciate my good fortune...But i guess it's only human to like complain right...because we can never be satisfy with what we have.Nvm i shall complain or/and indulge in my good fortune whenever i like to.Who cares....lalalalalalalalala. i have a terrible confession to make....i am beganning to not-so-enjoy the company of leonard and justin.I don't know...we don't seem that close anymore...Do you think it's because we hang out almost 24/7?They are always nice and letting me my way and always accommodating me in whatever possible manner.But still the spark isn't there anymore.I am just a weird person...sometimes i really do believe that i only want the simplest thing in life and that goes the same for any type of relationship...but when everything is peaceful and gets monotonous...i began to find fault...Well maybe they aren't really faults...but just that i wish to make everything more perfect...because it's sorta like okie everything is stable now so it's time to perfect every little imperfection.So i am trying not to spend too much time with them recently by saying no to any outing that they ask me to.But the way they ask me about it was like why don't u want to hang out with us anymore and all that ...that it makes me....like well just want to hang out with them.And sometimes i feel a bit pressurized... Now i am still thinking if i should go tennis with them tmr...i told justin i will think about it..and he was like why you don't want to go ?me and leonard really wish u will go ?i don't want to force you if you really don't want to go? think about it lor? if you want come to the court at 9am...blah blah. I am not like showing attitude or whatever but it's also because i feel that cannot hang out 24/7 with the same person everytime...because soon you will start to take each other's company for granted and start to resent or fight that sorta unpleasant thing.Besides if you notice i always tend to hang out with girls more than guys.Because i don't like people to gossip about me..I don't want to give people the impression that hey why lilin only hang out with guys..she is such a filrt and all that. Well honestly speaking reputation is kinda important to me...i mean not that sorta fake reputation but it's more like i want and try to be a better person everyday...Plus i have being steadless forever and ever...that people just tie my with whatever guy that i talk more or laugh more or hang out more with.People always like to ask: hey li lin why i always see you with him ar.....you and him stead liao ar? me: huh no lar...he is just a friend.. people: haha really har...don't bluff lar. me: really.. and so and so on...it's so weird lar....i have friends who can get by when hanging out with guys....but not me...i admit it gets on my nerves last time but now that i am more used to it...i am kinda okie with all that questions...Oh yah and one more thing...it's like if i change my nick to some sort that might suggest that i like someone or someone like me and that sorta love thingy...they will always start pressuming and msn me to ask... Sometimes i do feel love but not towards anyone but just in general..and sometimes it is somthing that i feel all of a sudden that i just wanna display it or sometimes it just so happen to be from a song that i like(which unfortunately happens to be sad/happy love song).But i understand their feeling about this because if i were them...i would ask too. I am a bit sleepy now...and i shall blog um...maybe tmr....=) Nights everyone....
