Thursday, February 03, 2005
It was supposedly to be a good day today yet it was spoilt by them.Never mind the good part first and later the bad part.
seriously i think benny is darn humourous and he has this certain charm.Ok just in case people are wondering again...no! i shall emphasize ONE MORE TIME i am no interested in him in that kind of way.Althought he is really lame and can be childish,I can see that he is doing all that for our sake.And he is seriously smart and he think about almost everything everytime.He is someone that i can respect.And he was like hinting to us(our group) that he would like to see us injecting more enthusiasm during the presentation.Ok i admit totally that i wasn't really professional while presenting(i was kinda like sitting down on the table and scratching my leg while explaining the slides).But seeing his face just makes me wanna r&r.And today i was really sleepy today cause of my flu..so basically just wanna chop chop everything.But on the whole he is a really fun guy to talk to.There are times when i go totally huh when he says some certain stuff and he refuse to repeat or further explain things.seriously man it always happens to me..i always go huh and the others will go nvm i gif up or they'll say nothing.Why eh?Benny is a really mature being with his own sets of firm belief and thoughts.He is always thinking and wondering about things.oh yah btw he was like saying :blah blah(somthing that i didn't quite catch but he dun wanna repeat them again) and he said this: wan cheng told me everything about you.so how is u and that. and i go like huh don't bluff la how u noe her..dun rubbish. he goes: i am not bluffing.if so how would i know her name right. i go: huh wat did she say about me?is there even anything to say about me? he then shake his head and give that dun-noe-wat-is-it smile and said nvm...MEOW??????
ok so now for the bad part.it is really tiring to be fighting everytime and i am someone who hates to fight.everyone is sending email to each other explaining things.can everyone stop saying sorry and crying?it is so depressing.i thought i could be happy today but all this sort of thing is burdening me again.i dun tell them because already they are burdened with all their troubles.i don't get it...it is suppose to be a small thing but it got blown way out of proportion.is it so energy draining.i dun even bother to explain things they said about me in the email.if they continue like this i dun even wanna be in this friendship anymore.if this is what we all gonna go through everytime(all the crying,sorrys,quarrelings,ignoring etc), i will tell them i dun wanna be friends with them anymore.friendship no doubt needs compromising but u can't expect me to compromise to such extend surely.everyone is like fighting with each other or with their own boyfriend and it is like becoming such a burden to me.i dun noe how to deal with their stress because i can't possibly leave them alone but if i care i'll feel their burden too.i don't even know what i should do because either way i am doom to feel sad....tired really tired of all these.
Y 11:35 PM
